I feel like the world has been giving me so many signs lately. I’ve noticed! But am I listening?
I having a driving on the side of my full time job. Lately I’ve had quite a few people talk to me about addictions. A sign? Someone is trying to tell me to consider my choices. I drove a women just under 30 minutes the other day. Enough time for her to tell me about her choices, her spirals, and her current focuses. She was just making conversation, but her story should be teaching me.
At the moment I can’t think of others, but I know in the last 6 months there have been so many, “Are you listening?” moments. I need to listen. I know I’ve thought, “I don’t want to get there” …. “I don’t want that to happen to me” … So let’s take ACTION!
Last night I got together with friends. I actively chose not to drink. BEFORE or DURING. I have to work on the before just as hard as the during. Normally I would “pre-game” for these things. I stayed late at work to cover some of the time I would need to wrestle with myself. I still had an hour of: “No, don’t drink.” “No, don’t drink.” “No, don’t drink.” “No, don’t drink.” “No, don’t drink.” “No, don’t drink.” “No, don’t drink.” “No, don’t drink.”
“You’ll have more fun.” – maybe. I have to try
And you know what? It was fun! I was applying words from recent podcasts I have listened to – Being sober means I can engage well during the time I have with my friends, I can remember everything, I felt good then, I feel good now (waking up, starting my morning). I even noticed the ones that had indulged. I was not judging, but I was actually able to think, “I’m glad I’m not slurring my words right now. I’m glad I’m not getting too loud..” No one was disrespectful and they too were having fun, but I was thankful for the first time to be sober within the crowd.
Within this time came another story of too much drinking from a dear co-working talking about a family member. I listened. I tried (without ratting myself out) to shed some insights on their side and suggested how to support them. I’m listening. I don’t want to be where she was saying her family member was. Can I do it?
Unexpectedly I come home to a dark house which I thought was odd. I turned a few lights on a see my husband laying on the couch with the tall tell puke bucket. I had been away for about 4 hours and I knew he would be having a couple drinks on the couch watching a pre-season football game or going out with a friend for some local music. When I asked what was going on (drinks or a migraine?) he said he wasn’t sure how he got intoxicated so fast, but that he has thrown up several times. I got him some water. He then said:
“How do you like feeling like this!?”
“You do this all the time, how do you like to feel like this?”
Ouch….. Yes……. Are you listening?
I’ll save some drinking stories for another day. I’ll relish that I made it through a social event without drinking. That is a win for me.