Inspiration #3

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/bubblehour/2019/07/15/jenns-story

Jean and Jenn. I loved this Bubblehour and have listened to it a few times since listening to it for the first time.

Things I can relate to that Jenn talked about within her story:

*Married all of my adult life (she is 41, 19 years) *

  • I’ve been with my husband since I was 18 (technically prior). We have been married for 2 years. I’ve been with him my whole adult life!

*I tried to get out of my job for about 15 years – so many barriers*

  • Recently I made a job transition, but have been chasing jobs, if I’m honest for two years. Why did I wait so long. I’m hoping I’m flowing in a “this was meant to be moment”, but I’m sad that everything I did seemed not good enough. I’m setting into my new position and will continue to WORK HARD and pursue. I hope that letting go of this vice will assist in this progress.

*Numb my feelings and give me a break .. once I learned that I never then drank except for to get drunk… my make-up was always chasing the drunk*

  • I knew this about myself but can really highlight now after self reflection this is 100% me. I’m not happy with just one drink I need the whole bottle. I can say I have stopped plenty of times at a few, but it almost always started with a pre-game shot or two. I wanted to be just a bit farther than what I was going to consume. No action, in the drinking world, made me happy or comfortable. I have to acknowledge this doesn’t work. Rarely at the beginning, middle, or end I’m having fun. And I can never find an end.

*I had an older BF – from time to time her would comment I drank to much. I remember thinking he was a total jerk and it was none of his business*

  • My husband has called me out a shameful amount of times. I get mad. He and our circle of friends drink just as much as I do. I’ve seen them all make fools of themselves, make bad decisions, wake up hung-over. BUT I need to say to myself over and over – this is not my concern. I can and will build other people up, but right now I will say, “Yes, you are right. I need to stop drinking. I need to own up to my poor decision… and help myself.”

*We relieved our pressure through drinking everyday*

  • I’m relieving pressure. BUT I really just need to accept what is adulthood and the pressure that comes with life and bills and being successful. I need to find the good. I need to take charge of life so I am conquering this pressure with some control. I suppose I need to relinquish some control too. I’ll have to find this balance.

*I couldn’t possibly have a drinking problem, look at all the marvelous things I can do*

  • Indeed! Anyone who doesn’t know (maybe fully know) about my drinking would think I have it all together. I’m doing great (minus some debt that needs to be cleaned up). I can be marvelous and have a drinking problem – and I need to take action on this.

*I have one speed and that’s turbo charged .. I need it to slow down  — I didn’t know how else to stop.. Geez if I stop can I pick up again .. sort of an all of nothing approach to life *

  • 100% me. I do crash at home often, but for sure at work I’m going 120% all the time. I’m working 60+ hours a week and I *think* I thrive on busy, but these ladies of wisdom are telling me otherwise. I’ll need to take some time to reflect on this.

*It got to be the point that I hated drinking. I was a regular at Trader Joe’s. The guy that is over in the line area at Trader Joe’s were on a first name basis. I didn’t want to go there anymore or drink anymore. I also didn’t have any other way to live my life. *

  • I’m here! I hate that a few local places we buy alcohol at recognize my face. I’m no longer always carded.
  • This BubbleHour really hit home. https://www.blogtalkradio.com/bubblehour/2019/03/19/annas-story-1
    • She says that the alcohol started to taste like poison. I’m here! It doesn’t mean that the poison taste stopped me a month ago. I will was consuming to hush the inner-voice or hush the hangover. But this needs to stop.

*Steady little trickle all day long on the weekends. I was living this paranoid life- do they know what’s in my cup? Am I slurring my words? Are they drinking as much as I am? *

  • Yes…. If I let myself I can start too early and go all day. So sickening. So embarrassing. So harmful.

*Her tipping point her birthday – blacked out, where are my kids, you are 40 you can’t be passing out. I had pre-gamed, I had to drink before-hand to get to the level I wanted to be at. 70% of her gifts were wine related.*

  • I can relate to all of this too. I blacked out the night before my 30th birthday. I promised myself that I would not be hungover for the birthday, but I certainly started the day feeling awful.
  • I pre-game for everything…. Everything…. UGH
  • Many gifts we receive are alcohol. Some Christmas present barely made it into the New Year. UGH

*We’ve gotta do it my way because it’s right, I’m the leader, I’m efficient // take pride in fixing things //I cannot go around resent other people’s silly mistakes //I’ve got to be perfect or I’m failing // that lead for over 19 year of me doing it all // gosh it feels good to not run the universe everyday *

  • This is another thing I will need to figure out within my household. Sometimes I feel like my husband put(s) me in charge of everything. But also did I put myself there? This is a huge pressure and I believe some of our downfall within the last few years, “Yes, we can do that! Yes, we can do everything!” – Nope! We have a budget, that we have blown to many times. We can do stuff! We can have fun! But within reason.
  • And no I can’t do everything. What should I be doing to assist our life, help others when reasonable and make sure what I’m using my time for is healthy, reasonable, and good for me.

I cannot tell you how much I loved this Bubblehour. Each thing (not quoted) straight out of Jenn’s mouth that WAS MY LIFE. Oh my gosh!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s