220 Days Since You have Heard From Me…

My last post was 220 days ago… August 30th.

What have I done in 220 days?

Struggled for a bit at the end of the summer.

Struggled for a bit in Fall.

Been sober for 114 days.

Was told, again, “I want a divorce.” Was told, “I’m leaving in the summer.” … Was also told twice with words and actions that I would be killed.

This was my rock bottom. When my husband told me twice within 9 days that he wanted to kill me.

Sober date: December 15, 2019. He attacked me on the 14th and 16th. We had drinks with lunch on the 14th and got into a fight that afternoon. Words thrown, possessions thrown, my body thrown. Then, he was drinking all day with a friend on Monday the 16th and came home and dragged me down the stairs with his hands around my neck, saying, “I’m going to do it! I’m finally doing it!”

I cannot drink. He should not drink. But they say, you can only change yourself.

Life has gotten a lot better by not drinking. 114 days!

Guess what I made it through?

Christmas, New Years (not a great end to the night though), Valentine’s Day, My Best Friend’s Birthday, My Husband’s Birthday, 3 long weekends, 16 weekends – 16 Fridays, 16 Saturdays, 16 Sunday-Fundays.

114 days! I’m thrilled! The bratty voice is silent some days… very loud other days. I feel empowered…. Finally!

I check the tracker on my phone daily — Ecstatic to get to 30, 60, 90. Pumped to make it over 100.

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