Curiosity killed the cat

I have often wondered if I was ever close to death. I can across this website (that I cannot validate how accurate it is): http://getdrunknotfat.com/drinking-calculator/

Here is the example I ran to get to that toxic level:

I’m not sure if I ever got there, I feel like I would be asleep before I could… I would; however, probably take 4-6 shots out of the bottle on a stressful day. I would walk into the house grab whatever hard alcohol we had and take pulls to ease that stress and anxiety. Then if it was a Friday I could tack on a few more drinks with dinner/movie watching/a camp fire.

To get away from that – habit changes. I talked yesterday about changing my work schedule a bit to eliminate those moments of free time. Eliminate time to be staring at that bottle and having to coax me to it. For a while within that first 30 days we had very little alcohol in the house, which helped tremendously. If you have no one else drinking in your house I suggest to do that.

I also just needed to address that voice in my head (the bratty child) head on. And keep saying no…. and no…. and no … It’s actually laughable how much I need to address & suppress this voice. But the trick is to, over and over and over…. lol for the rest of my life? I hear that she get more quiet and within the last 116 days I noticed she has sometimes, sometimes not. I do try to also address why the voice is there… Stress..? Anxiety..? Conflict..? And try to think through how to resolve that in different ways… that is the ultimate goal of this whole thing.

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