A year ago a Facebook friend announced she was an alcoholic and was starting her sobriety journey. I was in awe she was brave enough to share it so publicly.
As I made cuts on Facebook to the bare minimum friends & family she continued to make the cut because I wanted to see her progress. She was a friend of a friend and I’ve only met her once so she was not the general people I was keeping around. But she was inspiring- a mom, a business owner, successful, beautiful … an addict sharing her story.
For a year I was reading updates of struggles and success.
This week I read an update – two days of relapse. Covid-19, fear, and anxiety brought it on. Which is disappointing and shocking AND totally understandable. She always said she drank until she was blacked out, in this particular post she didn’t say how bad it got or who might have witnessed it (her daughter?, her partner?).
I can feel her disappointment (in her words and in my soul) for breaking her sobriety streak and I feel devastated for her. She changed it to the positive and said – mistake made, self-reflection had, sobriety back on track.
Does it make me nervous for a slip up? Yes. Does it make it okay to make a mistake and pick yourself back up again? Yes, but I don’t want to! I soooo don’t want to, so I will use that feeling for inspiration.
Making it through my best friends birthday (I swear, hardest day to not drink) and reading this post will be my renewed fuel.