500 Drinks Passed

My app has alerted me today, based on my 20 drinks/week that I inputed, that I have passed on 500 drinks!

The more I think about it the more I know 20 drinks/week is wrong… I feel like it could be over 35 drinks/week instead… A couple swings out of the bottle when I got home to cut the anxiety (that could be 3 shots alone) and then another or two with dinner/through the night. Maybe not everyday…. But many days. 35 drinks/week passed means I have skipped 886 drinks.

My body must thank me? … I question as I am soooo tried today and yesterday… I did have some fun in the sun Saturday and did play with a 4 y/o and 2 y/o all day Sunday…. I got plenty of sleep, but did have some bad dreams last night. I’ll trudge through being thankful it’s just sleepiness and not nausea.

I am thankful this morning thinking I have awoken 178 times without a hangover! That is amazing! Unfortunately that was never a stopper though… I knew the more I drank the worse I would feel in the morning, but it never stopped me. Only a few times through all those years I thought to drink water… or pace myself… ugh.

I’m sad this year I can’t relish in it all the way because COVID has cancelled everything – I’ve gone to the Memorial Day Parade hungover I think 3 years in a row (a May event). I went to Farmer’s Breakfast (a June event) hungover 2/3 times. One of the times I was so sick I’m not every sure how I was standing… I just didn’t want to ditch my dad and our tradition. Smelling cows while super hungover is pretty fun, NOT! I went to Easter hungover two years ago… Threw up at the restaurant (in the bathroom)… That was cute. I drank for fireworks, my birthday (summer event), every cookout….

A friend of mine said several years ago, “Why would I drink? I like to be able to drive and leave and go where ever, when ever.” – that makes we wonder if he was a heavy drinker too and discovered this joy? I now understand this joy!

There was many times I would feel annoyed at events because my husband always wants to drink and doesn’t really flex – like we could enjoy every other time or something- but no. I would be mad because then I would have to watch what I was doing or try to cut myself off. To be honest I was not always successful – so either I’m mad that I’m not drinking or drinking a tiny bit…. or mad at myself because I over did it. It’s nice to not be stressed about the drive home… although it would still be nice to share that duty.

But it was nice to leave our friends house after a cook out of sound mind. It’s nice to have dinner/a cookout at our house without worry, “Okay, how many shots have I had?… Is this going to hit me hard in a moment?” … It’s nice to remember what happened last night.

The other day I discovered a small lamp was knocked over and the bulb had broken. My literal first thought was, “Well at least I know it wasn’t me… I wonder if {husband} did that the other night..?” We deemed it was probably hit by a window pane that opens sideways instead of up like a normal window and moved on.

It’s nice to get up on a Saturday and feel good.

It’s nice to (mostly, sometimes it still crosses my mind) not worrying about drinking on a Sunday – “Not too much! Gotta work tomorrow!”

One drink passed at a time!

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