I’ve lost my happiness… How do I find it again?

Dismal title….. Sorry.

I’m still on the wagon!

I lost my passion a long time ago…. Perhaps before the really heavy drinking. The old question of am I depressed? “Loss of interested in daily activities and/or things you love to do…” …

But now, for the longest time, I can’t think of anything I love to do… What are my hobbies?

  • I really like to thrift and garage/estate/flea market shop…. but I really hate to spend money so that is a fine line.
  • I really like to read… but my attention span and time to do so is so small.
  • I like to garden (food… not so much the flower piece), but that is for only a couple months a year and now my husband some how found a way to worm his way in there and insert his opinions – i.e. won’t weed, but will tell me it’s overdue.
  • I like to walk or relax on the beach – we have many lakes around my home to do so – get some sun, listen to the water… collect/browse what has washed up.
  • Newer found hobby is kayaking… been so busy I’ve only been out once so far this year though! I hope to get out a bunch this upcoming holiday weekend.

These thoughts come from hearing this speech on YouTube the other day…. Some of the last comments that I am trying to tell myself over and over, “Fear is writing that script….. There will always be someone who is doing better than you… No matter what you gain, ego will not let you rest. It will tell you, you cannot stop…” … “I just want you to relax…” .. “Relax and dream up a good life… As far as I can tell it’s about telling the universe what you want, working towards it, and letting go as it comes to pass..”…. “You’re job is not to figure out how it’s going to happen for you, but to open the door in your head… and when the door opens in real life, just walk through it..” …

“Why not take a chance on faith, as well? Take a chance on faith, not religion, but faith.. Not hope, but faith — I don’t believe in hope… Hope is a beggar… Hope walks through the fire and faith leaps over it!”

“You are ready and able to do beautiful things in this world.. Choose love and don’t ever left fear turn you against your playful heart!”

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