This isn’t what I thought it’d be

My parents didn’t make adulting seem easy…

But we were always cared for.

Adulting is not easy. Rather hard in fact. Odd that you can kind of see – that everyone is faking it, until they <sorta> make it.

I don’t feel like I’m faking it good enough, because I’m not making it at all.

I’m depressed and exhausted. I feel like I am failing at every turn.

Even though we have paid off several debts in 2020 I still feel really poor. Maybe, partially, because my spouse puts very little of his paycheck towards bills, but I have been working let’s say 2.5 jobs and it’s still hard…. I hate that. I feel like with just my 1 well paying job we should be able to make it and his paycheck is a bonus. I guess that is one difference from my parents- they were able to make it on one paycheck – my dad was the only one that worked from my birth to about middle of elementary school. My mom did babysit kids I suppose, I’m not fully sure how they were dividing bills, but it would seem just my dad was paying for the bulk.

Here’s to keeping my head up… making good decisions…. and trucking on into 2021.

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