I stumbled upon this totally not expecting to get the best description of codependency I have ever heard…

8:42 – “something along the lines of when she was growing up she wasn’t treated well… She feels comfortable calling it trauma”

“You learn I don’t matter… I need to suppress all of my pain…”

“Some people will find substance abuse, some people will find Narcissism… and some people will distract themselves by finding someone’s pain… being useful”

“Now you have a pattern [from childhood] you have inner pain but you suppress it… You do not express it in a way that allows other people to take care of you… you might not even notice it… then one’s self esteem is taking care of other people… but underneath all that giving is resentment and pain and unmet needs… and angry because ‘how come no one’s taking care of me?'”

“You create a lifestyle… where people have to neglect you because you are not expressing your needs, because you do not trust anyone will care”

WOW, yes…

My husband has even started to use (probably within the last two years) – “Why do you resent me so much?”

Stuff to work on.

“There is a real power in knowing that someone is riding with you no matter what…”

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