https://youtu.be/8Lw0w7JZbVA I stumbled upon this totally not expecting to get the best description of codependency I have ever heard... 8:42 - "something along the lines of when she was growing up she wasn't treated well... She feels comfortable calling it trauma" "You learn I don't matter... I need to suppress all of my pain..." "Some …
Inspiration
https://youtu.be/hT0K2-S2F7g Assumptions about addicts.... I always need these reminders in my life... Have I ever tried Meth or pills? No... but addicts all do odd, bad, shady stuff. "I hated that my life centered around that... " "Addiction is the symptom of a much bigger problem..." "There's nothing wrong with me.. don't tell me something …
Sitting at a bar … SOBER!
Three times within the last nine days I have been at a bar and didn't drink. I would in general currently be avoiding bars both to help my sobriety and because of COVID, but we just bought a permanent campsite that has a restaurant and tiki bar on site. We were up there the last …
One year ago today I was extremely hungover
I could probably say that for many days recently... Last year today we were camping with my husband's family. We had pulled up Friday midday... I had a drink while we were setting up. My friend joined me for a mid-afternoon chat. She lives about 90 min away and we were camping near her house. …
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I’ve lost my happiness… How do I find it again?
Dismal title..... Sorry. I'm still on the wagon! I lost my passion a long time ago.... Perhaps before the really heavy drinking. The old question of am I depressed? "Loss of interested in daily activities and/or things you love to do..." ... But now, for the longest time, I can't think of anything I love …
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Reasons why I drank…
"If he wasn't going to change and I wasn't going to leave .. then at least we could have peace, right? ... Survival skill... just to get through the day, just to get through some of the situation that happen... " https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDVX_PL5bJU&t=323s I'm certain that I'm codependent... I'm trying to find out what that means …
Six Months Sober
Dec 15th -> June 15th In December or for years before that, the thought of being sober sounded impossible. The act of trying to get sober was .. truly felt like it was impossible. And some how I sit here today... 6 months sober. That is crazy to me. If someone is reading this thinking …
500 Drinks Passed
My app has alerted me today, based on my 20 drinks/week that I inputed, that I have passed on 500 drinks! The more I think about it the more I know 20 drinks/week is wrong... I feel like it could be over 35 drinks/week instead... A couple swings out of the bottle when I got …
Traits – Covering Trauma … or … Inheriting Addiction
My sister unloaded on my with her thoughts on our mom. Our mom is hard to take and I know this, but this conversation still took me back. Here are a few things she mentioned she thought my mom suffered from... How did this affect us? What traits do I have of these? Narcissistic Personality …
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Constant Question – Getting older… or… Getting sober?
Today as I sit in "my home office" (working from home from March 17th- September 1st.. Thanks COVID...) I can smell the lilies of the valley wafting in with the breeze through the open window. The dogs are snuggled up on the bed sniffing, snoozing, and enjoying. I'm more alert to these wonderful smells. We've …
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I've turned 30. 